Feature writing

Funeral services can be full of hidden fees and unexpected complications. Here’s why you should make your burial plans and share them with your loved.

The first few days after the death of a loved one are their own surreal rollercoaster. Sadness, shock, confusion—the intensely individual landscape of grief and grieving—collide with a starkly practical barrage of administration, paperwork, and planning around final wishes, wills, and funerals.

The Basics

Leonard Verville, funeral director at Chapman Funerals & Cremations on Martha’s Vineyard, tells T&C that family members are most often unprepared. “The expense is always the shock if the person or the family hasn’t planned things in advance,” says Verville. A typical cremation, he says, comes to around $5,000, a full burial begins at $8,000, with prices ascending when taking such matters as the casket (from around $1,200 to $65,000), funeral home visiting hours, and church service into account.

In the first days after a loved one’s death, family members should try to locate vital paperwork, says Verville, like the deceased’s social security or veteran’s discharge papers, and anything stating what kind of funeral they wanted: “Cremation, full burial, body donation, or Aquamation (the eco-friendly, water-based alternative to cremation)? Any documentation they left is helpful. Things are changing in how we talk about death. I’ve noticed an increase in people expressing what they want to family members.”

Away From Home

A significant additional cost can be borne if the person has died while on vacation. Verville says shipping costs for a body across state lines come to around $8,000, with additional charges of $3,000 to $4,000 following the receipt of the body by a funeral director at the destination. Verville will, if desired, cremate bodies on the Vineyard, or—if the body is being shipped back to a person’s home—embalm that body prior to its travel. Loved ones should expect to pay additional funeral costs at the home destination.

If a U.S. citizen dies outside America, the State Department’s website lists the protocols and guidance for loved ones, including first steps, consular support, and the repatriation of their remains. The International Air Transport Association (IATA) has protocols in place should a death occur mid-flight. Airlines themselves have strict rules on how human remains are transported, such as the necessity of a physician’s or health officer’s certificate or burial transit permit for uncremated remains, and the preference for a metal container or urn as inner packaging to convey cremated remains.

Funeral directors are well-used to organizing and overseeing such journeys. A spokesperson for San Francisco’s Columbarium & Funeral Home says vacation deaths in the city “happen quite often” because it’s such a popular destination. “We help the deceased’s next of kin see if they had pre-stated wishes or arrangements, then help research funeral directors in their town of origin, and then—if they wish—help transport their loved one home.”

“The death of a loved one on vacation is very scary,” the spokesperson says. “Their next of kin feel helpless, and don’t know who to reach out to. We try our best to help them.” That may include helping transport a body internationally, the spokesperson says, where practices and regulations around receiving human remains vary country to country.

The Upgrades

For those wishing to host a grand affair, other decisions and options present themselves. William Villanova, president of Frank E. Campbell on NYC’s Upper East Side (the funeral home for such boldface names as Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Judy Garland, and Ivana Trump) tells T&C a “destination funeral,” featuring a service in New York and a burial or ashes-scattering elsewhere, is common.

Villanova, who advised Succession’s producers on staging patriarch Logan Roy’s (Brian Cox) memorial, says private jets are ready at Teter­boro or Westchester County airports to transport the funeral party. Decoy hearses can be used to throw paparazzi off the scent. A 34-piece orchestra accompanied one recent service.

Private yachts are available for aquatic ceremonies. Venues such as Lincoln Center or the Pierre Hotel can be rented. The most elaborate services cost “high six-figures,” Villanova says. “If the family is building a mausoleum, it can add $1.8 million.” Frank E. Campbell’s chefs will even prepare the deceased’s favorite home-cooked recipe.

“It’s so helpful if discussions have been had or something written down,” the Columbarium spokesperson says. “Probably the best gift you can give your loved ones is letting them know what to do in the event of your passing.”